Everyone has been there.

You make your plans, you prepare, you plot out the details of the effort you are going to put forth, and then you put it all into action. Your heart, soul, and mind all work together to achieve a goal. 

But then something doesn't go quite right.

The payoff you wanted never comes to fruition. Whether it be over a long period of time or in an instant, you don't get to the finish line you had hoped to reach.

You failed and the feeling you are left with is far from hopeful. 

Failure can happen in many aspects of life, but you probably already know that. You can fail at your job, relationships or the pursuit of,  personal projects, your education, the list goes on and on. 

I've found myself taking more risks in life during the latter part of my 20s. When I began to do so, I was under the naive impression that more risks equaled greater success. While that might be true in the long run, the short term effects have been the exact opposite. My increase in risks has merely led to an increase in failure. 

And that is exactly how risk taking works. 

The true value of failure is something that I only began to grasp at the beginning of this year and I am still in the process of completely understanding. I would argue that failure has more purpose than success does. 

Failure teaches.

It forces us to grow, to accept reality, to be better at who we were created to be. It's the slap in the face telling us to rethink our plan of action or even our intentions. It's the foul tasting medicine that we don't want to take, but need to because it will make us better later on. 

It can even provide motivation. A recent failure pushed me to create this blogpost. ​

Failure is rarely pleasant, but it has become something that I welcome; quick and easy success has become something that I don't. Very little is learned from the latter. 

There's a new piece of music that I've been working on the past few weeks that I'm really excited about and I can't wait for others to hear it. I'm taking a few risks with the recording. There are a handful of new instruments and other elements that I've never used in a song. It's definitely a different style than anything else I've ever done and the whole thing could be a big mess in the end when all is said and done. 

I don't worry about that though. 

Sometimes the only failure is not even trying. 

Romans 5:3-4

-JZ

Every once in a while, a specific type of movie comes along. 

It's not a movie that thrills, excites, scares, or makes you laugh. The type of movie I'm talking about is one that transports the viewer not by what it depicts, but instead by what it doesn't.

The most recent movie I've seen that does that is 2017's Columbus. 

Written and directed by South Korean filmmaker Koganada, Columbus stars John Cho and Haley Lu Richardson. 

Jin (Cho) is an American who works in Korea. When his estranged father suddenly falls into a coma, he finds himself stuck in the American town of Columbus, Indiana. There he meets Casey (Richardson), a young woman who works for the local library and feels she must stay in Columbus to care for her mother, a recovering drug addict, instead of pursuing her own goals. 

The two eventually cross paths and begin to spend their time exploring the city, a place rich with architectural history. They ponder what the architects had intended for the buildings to mean and they explore what the structures mean to them as individuals. 

In one of the film's strongest scenes, Casey introduces Jin to her second favorite building in the city (her first being a specific house). The building is a bank, one of the first modernist style banks in the country. As she begins to explain the architect's intention for its design, Jin interrupts and tells her he isn't interested in hearing the basic facts. Instead, he wants to hear why she likes it. Why it's her second favorite building in the city. Why it moves her. 

The best part is, we never directly find out. 

As Casey begins to explain, the camera shifts to inside the bank looking out. Behind the large glass windows are our main characters. As she answers the question, we don't hear her words, but what we do see is the expression on her face, her body language, and Jin's reaction. All of this set to a score by the band Hammock (a band which I highly recommend).

It's the type of scene which isn't common in most of today's films. Rather than directly tell us what is going on in a character's mind and heart, it is implied; or rather it isn't necessary to know. What is important is that Casey is moved.

Columbus continuously leaves out certain details you would expect it to have. For example, Jin's hospitalized father is a large part of the plot, but he is never actually shown in the hospital, he is barely onscreen at all. There are elements of romance between the two leads, but they don't even share a single kiss throughout the entire movie. 

The film's strengths lie within what it decides to depict and what it doesn't.

There is a theme of presence and absence throughout and most everything in the movie reflects that. 

​As the film continues to take us to countless incredible landmarks around the city, Casey and Jin continue to converse. They discuss everything from their pasts to goals to smartphones. Eventually, they come around to the problems they are currently struggling with. Casey feels she can't leave Columbus because of her mother and Jin wants nothing more than to leave the city because of his strained relationship with his father. 

This is where our characters really make a connection. 

All of this and more is depicted through some of the most gorgeous cinematography you will see from any recent film. Shots are composed down to the most minute detail. Huge wide-shots show off the scale of the locations around the city. Many scenes are long takes where the camera doesn't move. In fact, I believe there are only two scenes where the camera actually does. There are even scenes that play out entirely within the reflections of mirrors. 

If you like shot composition, then this is a movie for you. 

The best thing that can be said about Columbus is that it is a film that transports the viewer. It takes you to a place that most are unfamiliar with. It allows you to get to know not only these two characters but also the setting they exist within. 

It may even want to make you visit Columbus yourself. 

- JZ

Time for a shift in direction.

I had a pretty good idea of where I wanted a fourth album to go. With the first track, I packed everything I love into it. An ambient intro, a loud bombastic overdriven climax, strings, reversed guitar. It was exactly what I wanted album four to be. There wasn’t a clear thematic idea, but what I wanted the music to sound like was - for the most part - in place.

And then I got sick.

For nearly a week, I was battered with a splitting headache, a constant cough, and aches and chills that seemed like they would never come to an end.

With the exception of still going to work, I spent every other hour of that week in bed mostly sleeping but watching TV on the few exceptions I was conscious.

Between the coverage of the Olympics and the movies I can only half remember now, I was thinking.

Thinking a lot.

Sickness is always a good reminder about my mortality. The human body is a fragile thing and it can start breaking down in an instant without warning. One day you’re perfectly healthy and the next you’re lying helpless in bed.

I thought about where I was currently at in life and the effort - or lack thereof - that I put into it all. The countless things that I put off, ignore, and am not upfront with others about. My mind was especially flooded with the numerous activities I’m completely disinterested in and yet still continue to waste my time with anyway.

Activities and behaviors that at my age, I would like to have put away by now.

I was reminded of this verse from 1 Corinthians 13:

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."

It was a slow process that took about a year, but it finally hit me when I was sick.

There are certain things from being a child that it’s time to let go of such as certain ways I think and activities that at one time interested me, but I now find to be wasteful, devoid of substance.

Moving forward. That’s what I’m trying to say. I couldn’t be happier that I am finally ready to do so. 

The last piece of music (and the similar pieces I was working on) lacked an overall theme, some sort of idea that ties it all together and gives the music meaning.

Meaning for me at least.

The strongest music that I’ve written has a cohesive idea to it. Album 3 didn’t have this and that’s why it’s my least favorite collection I’ve put out.

All that being said, this new piece does have an idea behind it.

I wrote the guitar part on my last day of being sick. The piano part was written a little over a week later. All while dwelling on what I've written about above.

I’ve decided to put away the loud guitar, the ambient pads, and the electronic bleeps and bloops. For now, at least. I’m pursuing something that sounds a bit more organic, more natural.

The theme of this music (and the music to come) is simple:

It’s knowing you have to leave when there is a small part of you that would much rather stay.

The single can be downloaded at www.projectatlantic.bandcamp.com or by clicking the "Music" link at the top of this page. 

For a free download, click "Buy Now" and enter "0". ​​

- JZ

What follows is a journal entry. 

I've spent the last couple of days reflecting on the past few years I've had, my day to day routines, and how I was going about living life (generally speaking of course). I decided to compile the thoughts into a concise and easy to digest format. 

Some habits benefit, some harm, and others can detrimental to one's well being.

Here are five things I've learned over the past year that I wish I had known when I was younger:

- JZ

A new single is now available. 

The single can be downloaded at www.projectatlantic.bandcamp.com or by clicking the "Music" link at the top of this page. 

For a free download, click "Buy Now" and enter "0". ​

Thanks for listening. 

- JZ