Look! Another vague blogpost about abstract situations!
All kidding aside, I have no idea what this post is about. I just want to write.
It's a bizarre time of year. Although, I tend to always think every time of the year is strange.
It's still summer and yet it doesn't quite feel like it. I'm incredibly eager for fall to start and there's still about a month to go. It's a cycle that I've found myself going through the past couple of years. August rolls around and it seems to stick around longer than it should.
It's also been the month where everything in life decides to pile up.
This week has been filled with not only busyness but also some less than stellar news involving a couple members of my family. Details that I'll keep to myself for the time being.
But despite the bad news, life presses on. And with every season, there are countless things to celebrate.
I'm in a band with some of the most wonderful and fun people I know. We put out an album in May and making it was one of my favorite musical experiences ever. I even documented the entire process.
I've been able to spend some more quality time with my parents. The three of us have shared more dinners together in the last two months than I think we have since I graduated high school.
A new job has been keeping me busy and providing me an income to not only pay my bills but also save for the future.
I've gotten some decently paying work doing freelance video projects; the field that I went to college for.
Over the last few weeks I've had the opportunity to reconnect and catch up with friends who I haven't spent nearly as much time with as I would have liked to this summer.
And what I'm most excited about, a third album that's in the works which I am hoping will be ready by fall.
Every season has good and bad. We can either choose to dwell on the negative or celebrate the positive. Heck, as tough as it may seem, we can choose to celebrate the negative as well, but I think that is a blogpost for another day.
Good situations make for good stories, but the worst situations make for the best.
The following blogpost was a topic that I originally wanted to explore in more detail throughout a book I was going to write (and maybe I will someday). However, the theme of meaning has been popping into my head quite a bit lately and I decided that now was a good time to jot down a few thoughts on the subject. I began writing this piece with little to no idea on the "why" of meaning, just that it exists. But as wrote about it late into the night, I stumbled upon an epiphany or two.
These words are for anyone who has ever had something mean a great deal to them. So much so, that it feels as if no one else in the entire world could ever have the capacity to fully understand.
What has meaning to you? It can be anything really.
It could be a place. A song. A movie. A word. An activity. A person. An experience.
Each of us has something.
So why then can one thing mean so much to one person while at the same time mean nothing to someone else?
If you're looking for this post to answer that question, you're going to be disappointed. I don't intend to answer it, but I do want to discuss, reflect upon, and celebrate the phenomenon of "meaning". Specifically, its place in our lives and why we appreciate it so dearly.
One of my favorite things as of late is hearing others talk about how much something means to them. I've noticed it happen a handful of times over the past few weeks and the experience is usually the same. They tell me about something they find significance in. I then think to myself, "that's a strange thing to care so much about". In short, I don't understand.
But then something funny happens, they explain why. And the more I listen, the more I get it.
Their explanation always has to do with something personal.
I've been on the other end of those conversations too. There's an excitement to when I've tried to share a song, movie, or even a personal story with someone. Unfortunately, nine times out of ten, it's met with little to no fanfare. Just a generic "cool", "that's awesome", or the dreaded blank stare. Immediately, excitement turns into disappointment and the following thought pops into my head:
"Why don't they see what I see?"
I think there's a reason for it.
The things that mean a lot to you, myself, and everyone else in the world aren't treasured "just because". Everything that means something to someone is - most of the time - tied to what we go through. They are associated with our longings, our experiences, our loves.
There are songs that I find significance in because the feelings they communicate relate to the feelings I've felt throughout my life.
There are movies that mean a great deal to me because I identify with their themes and what the characters go through.
There are places I love because they bring to mind memories that have shaped me and led me to where I am today.
Maybe I did answer the question above after all.
I don't always understand why certain things mean so much to some - in fact, I find a lot of things enjoyed or found meaningful by others to be baffling - but I do understand what it's like for something to have an incredible amount of significance to me.
And when someone finds importance in something - even if I myself don't - I am happy for them.
I hope you are as well.
Since September of last year, I have become heavily involved with my church's youth group. I've spent the majority of my last 42 Sunday nights with a small but fantastic group of high school kids. I've played games, laughed more times than I can count, formed a few great relationships, and I've even led a bible discussion or two.
Sunday can be an incredibly busy day for me and despite the lack of free time on one of my days off from work, I always look forward to it. I get to pour into others and doing so has been filling.
It feels right.
It feels normal.
It feels natural.
I have a bad habit of shifting my focus of thought onto myself. I find a constant dwelling on my own problems, situations, and what I perceive as "needs" to be unproductive. But there's a certain feeling that comes about when I divert the efforts of my mind - and heart - onto those around me.
It's a simple thing really. You don't have to break your back in order to pour into someone else. It can be as straightforward as giving someone a ride in your car, buying them a cup of coffee, asking how their week has been.
Or even sitting down and listening to them for a few minutes. Believe me, you'd be surprised how valuable a listening ear is.
I'll admit, it's not always something I've jumped at. I've definitely had my share of wasted opportunities. However, every time I've followed through, I've never regretted it. I've felt inspired at the end of every music lesson I've given. There's been a smile on my face whenever I've asked someone about their week and they've had something positive to share. Every trip to the movies with a few youth group kids to see the latest Marvel movie has been an absolute blast. And, most of all, I've loved writing words and putting videos together for others, whether they've wanted those things or not.
Others pour into me as well and it's much more often than I realize.
I'm poured into when someone asks how I'm doing.
I'm poured into when someone wants to spend time with me.
I'm poured into when someone listens to my music.
I'm poured into with every act of unconditional love from my parents.
I'm poured into when I receive a funny message from my sister.
I'm poured into when I get a text from a friend telling me they enjoyed something I wrote.
Countless people have poured into me and looking back on it all, I am truly grateful.
Now here's an unfortunate mentality I can get caught up in from time to time. There can sometimes be a lack of appreciation from those who are poured into. And despite the wonderful feelings that come with putting others before myself, it can sometimes cause me to not want to put any effort into pouring into them again. Especially when they seem to not care about what has been done for them. It's discouraging when you consciously try to love someone through your actions and you aren't even given a simple "thank you". I'm sure you can relate.
I'm no exception to this though. Showing a lack of gratitude is a very easy thing to do.
However, I shouldn't pour into others because I expect something in return. I should do it because I am called to do so and I would want others to do the same for me.
And they have.
What follows are two verses that I read earlier in the week. To put in bluntly, they were words I needed to hear.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Have a good weekend.
About 8 months ago, I had written a blogpost regarding my intentions on writing a book. Eventually, a table of contents was created, specific sections were mapped out, and a handful of rough chapters were written. While I had a fantastic time trying to figure out how to construct a piece of writing that spanned 55,000 words, I came to an unfortunate realization as the process went on.
The vast majority of the writing was overtly weak.
Sure, some sections were great. I was pleasantly surprised with the way certain moments dealing with childhood and early 20s life turned out. A lot of those topics I hadn't thought about in a very long time and looking back on those experiences in such a deep way allowed me to view them in a much more sophisticated mindset than when I was first going through them.
But then there were the writings that dealt with more recent events.
To put it bluntly, those sections completely failed for one simple reason - I lacked the benefit of hindsight.
I couldn't think of anything constructive or creative when it came to the events of the past year. And as time went on and I got further into the process of writing, I realized that there were specific things that began to not matter as much as they once did.
It's difficult to write about something that no longer has much meaning to you.
However, through this process I've learned a great deal about the importance of the things we hold onto, whether they be positive or negative. Either way, they mean something to us, they're important to us.
Each of us has been given a set of unique experiences, but some experiences stay with us more than others.
That's not to say that current events should never be written about, in fact, I wholly encourage it. But there is an odd benefit to holding off and waiting for a period of time. I've found that the farther removed I am from an experience the more enlightened my thoughts on it tend to be.
I've written about memory before and how much of a gift it truly is, but with memory also comes the blessing of time (which none of us like to see pass). It's true that time is something we can never get back, each of us knows this. But when was the last time you thought about its benefits?
Time can provide growth, healing, and maturation. We don't normally acknowledge that.
I'm more of a fan of myself at 26 than at 20. There wasn't anything "wrong" with me in my younger age, but time - and everything I have experienced within it - has helped me to become an even better version of the person I was created to be.
The book will be written someday, but in the meantime, I'm on a book writing hiatus.
There's a whole lot to write about when it comes to the last 2 months, but I've been waiting to reflect on those things and will continue to do so.
With the benefit of hindsight, there will be a lot more to say when the time is right.
I had no intention of putting together an EP this week, but it happened. For whatever reason, it happened.
Three pieces of music in three days. This is the result.
Each track was made with a single instrument.
Track 1 with a synthesizer. Track 2 with a guitar. Track 3 with a piano.
The EP can be downloaded for free at www.projectatlantic.bandcamp.com.
Thanks for listening.
A place for creativity and inspiration.